Eventually...

.... I will post again something worthwhile to read.  We are EXHAUSTED over here... we have been swimming all day, every day for about a week.  I promise, pictures and stories are coming :)

Jace napped today....

.... she's STILL awake.  She's been in a fabulous mood though.... I miss that in the afternoon.  downside?  she won't be in a good mood tomorrow!

I love....

being productive!  I feel like it happens too rarely these days....

Whining?

do they ever outgrow it?  Lord, help my nerves.  Grace me with more patience please.

Roar.........

is starting to grow into her nickname.................

may pics

Pics from April

Humble in spirit

I've been thinking lately how hard it actually is to go through life graciously.  It's a wonderful concept, but it's hard to actualize in my mind.  Suffering, in whatever form, is hard to grasp.... especially if thought of in terms of how Christ suffered for us.  My personal suffering pales in comparison.  And when my feelings get hurt I often treat it as a non event... because in my mind it seems silly to have hurt feelings over some of the things that have hurt my feelings.  I mean, really, let's think of all the people that denied Jesus, and turned their backs on him, and literally threw him up to be sacrificed.  Not only did he suffer true physical pain, but what of HIS feelings.  So it often times seems trivial or petty to me to be so super sensitive, and yet I can not help but feel that Christ would not want me to be hurting in any fashion.  That my hurt feelings are not trivial, or petty, or silly to Him.  To me that is true graciousness... to love unconditionally, forgive always everything, to be humbled in spirit by life's every day pain.  All I want is to be thought of in the same respect that I think of others.... or to have the same place in their lives that they have in mine.  BUT SO DOES JESUS, and often times I am guilty of not giving him that same level in my life that I so obviously have in Him.  So I will strive to be more gracious in every day life...  to put Christ first and foremost... to love, and forgive, and be humble in spirit.  

LOTS of rambling.....

I don't have the time to update like I use to! ha!  how I run out of time is beyond me, but inevitably, every day, I have run out of time for something I meant to do... and I don't sit around doing nothing.... I barely even get on my computer anymore.  that said here are a few random thoughts / updates:

1.  We have spent SOOO much time outside the last few weeks that I am surprised our skin hasn't leathered up from all the sun!  sunscreen vigilance prevails!  YAY for me!

2.  These past few weeks outside have been the BEST!  my kids love the outside world and now it's warm enough to play in the water table, baby pool, and real pool more!

3.  I watched 5 kids today (this number includes my 2).  It was fun but believe me when I say that I did not go to the bathroom, eat, or sit down once until after 2:00 this afternoon...  I jokingly said that this must be what it's like to have a bunch of kids :)  Maybe if I have a bunch of kids I will finally lose some weight because I would never be still and I would never remember to eat!!!!!

4.  I FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY matched up the kids sock basket today!  I've been putting that off for MONTHS because they haven't needed socks lately!  phew!

5.  Poor Roar!  she fell yesterday and busted open both knees, both elbows, her big toe, a finger and the palm of one of her hands.... blood everywhere... I thought Amanda was going to pass out.  It was very dramatic, to say the least!  And then today the poor dear kept falling and reopening one of her knees, one of her elbows, and mostly her big toe!  I bought some CHEAP canvas closed toed shoes for the back yard tonight from Target to protect her poor toes!  I don't like for them to wear shoes out back because they stay soaking wet usually, but I figured cheap canvas shoes would be okay.

6.  Roar has finally figured out how to climb the slide and slide down, how to get in the swing and swing herself, and how to get in the cozy coupe and use her feet to push it around a few inches!  She was so proud of herself.  After each accomplishment, several times today, she would get super excited and clap her hands excitedly!  

7.  Jace informed me that Rory is her best friend, above everyone else.  That is my greatest desire...

8.  We talked about God's grace Monday night at bible study...  I see God's grace in every living thing around me...  My children's beautiful faces and spirits, my husband, family and friends.  Our animals, our yard, everything and everywhere... Thank you Jesus!

9.  Three women I am most thankful for:  my Nana--- for her loving, patient soul..... one of my favorite people of all time and she had her hip replacement surgery again today and please Lord let this time around be better for her.  my Mom---- for her gracious heart... always willing to do anything she can and does ....  She loves her girls (me included) more than anything on this earth I believe.  Lord, please be with her as she is so far away from her family.  My mother-in-law--- for her generous spirit.....  always willing to watch our girls for me when she can.... even cleans my house (because Lord knows I DO NOT keep on top of this :)... She loves my girls so much.  Lord please grace her with your peace.  What do all these women have in common for me?  They love my kids unconditionally and always do the best that  they can do for us.  This in turn fills my heart with gratitude and love.

10.  One of my best friends, and Jace's godmother, is having another precious girl!  YAY JESUS!  Thank you for another beautiful life!  Another best friend, and Rory's godmother, finds out Friday--- I can't wait!

11.  I LOVE MY FRIENDS.  I AM SO BLESSED IN THEM...  ENOUGH SAID...

12.  homeschooling is becoming more and more appealing, for several reasons...  I am starting to see the wisdom in keeping our children close to us, esp. through their pre-adolescent years and esp in today's world, it is simply NOT the same world I grew up in ... private school is probably not an affordable option and magnet school for elementary is becoming less and less appealing for the high pressure I feel they put on these little minds, although I think magnet for jr high and high school sounds good...  I LOVED school, so I am not sure I want my children to miss out on that experience all together...  a friend told me about a half day private school that may be affordable.... need to check their accreditation ...

13.  Who do I miss the most?  The truth is I miss my Dad the most.  You'd think I'd miss my mom the most since she's in CA, and he's in AL.  But I talk to my mother so often that I feel like we still have a handle on each other's day to day lives...  and I don't see my Dad often, or talk to him much, he's not a big phone person (imagine that- he being a man and all :)  So I don't know what his daily life entails....

14.  I'm sad for my brother...  he's okay really he is.  but I think he's lonely... and I know Kai being officially diagnosed with autism has been very hard for him to accept.  pray for him please...  Lord, let Matt find your love.

15.  I was thinking last night of when my absolute LOVE/NEED for books truly began.  I remember, distinctly, being read to so much by my parents, esp. my dad.  I use to beg to be read to to hear them tell it :)  And I can clearly remember in 3rd grade our next door neighbor (name long forgotten) gave me a huge box of Sweet Valley High books.  Anyone read those?  I LOVED them.  I mean, a serious addiction began....  and they didn't carry alot of them in the library at the time so I use to literally cry and beg for my mom to buy me new ones all the time from the bookstore (favorite store, then and now).  And being the generous mom that she really is, she inevitable gave in time after time after time!  Thanks mom!  You're the BEST!  I devoured these books!  This is when the late night reading, absolutely could not put my books down and go to sleep, getting into some SERIOUS trouble with my parents for reading under my blanket with a flashlight began!  Even now I have a hard time putting my book down to go to sleep, and since I can only read really when the girls and Trey are asleep I am steadily becoming more and more sleep deprived!!!!  need some self discipline in this area!  lol  Although looking back those high school based books were probably not the most appropriate reading material for a 3rd grader--- but seriously guys, I was reading on a college level in 3rd grade.  anything else bored me.  the point of this little flashback....  I honestly still have ALL the books... haha... and I am even tempted to get the boxes (yes, plural) of them out of storage and read them all again just for the fun of remembering!

16.  and speaking of books... I love them... they are absolutely, without a doubt, my FAVORITE things.  I could fill every wall in my house with books... I reread my books... I like to smell my books...  I  LOVE to see my books.  Full bookshelves are one of the most glorious sights for me (probably why I love libraries and bookstores so much)... I am going to have to reclaim my bookshelves in my home for my books I think.

17.  oh my goodness... it's that time of year where we don't see Trey as much... my kids are so missing their daddy!  Jace has been all mommy for so long that it was sort of surprising tonight when she shunned me for trey!  (not that I minded because it made Trey feel loved :)  Daddy had to wipe her nose - not mommy.  The kids had to be in Daddy's lap - not mommy's.  Jace "NEEDED" daddy to lay down with her - NOT mommy.  And when I offered she said, "No thanks... I need my daddy to do it."  and then she preceded to hold his hand until she fell asleep... she never holds my hand! haha  Now that the sun stays out so long, and Jace doesn't nap she is usually asleep when trey leaves, and asleep when Trey gets home.  Many a night in the past few weeks has trey come home and just gone in and stared at our children as they slept...  he jokingly says "he's forgotten what they look like"  but it's just as hard on him, I think, to not see the girls as it is on them not to see their daddy.

18.  I was trying to be frugal and use washable swim diapers for Rory this year... uh, uh!  I am OVER this idea... She still poops alot, and they are hard to pull up and down... thus poop everywhere, all over her.  I only had to go through this a handful of times before I grudgingly waltzed to walmart and invested in 3 packs of disposable swim diapers.  She should be potty trained next summer thankfully!  

19.  I really want to go back to school and get my master's in education.... *sigh*....... finances and time restraints need to be addressed before this can happen.  praying for God's discernment on this matter.

20.  Speaking of college..... I REALLY REALLY REALLY want Trey to go back to school....  specifically nursing (something he's expressed a desire about doing too)....  nurses are in high demand and I TRULY TRULY TRULY feel like it is something he would very much enjoy....  also praying for discernment on this.....  I need God to lead Trey through his fear.  He's fearful of failure, that he's not smart enough (uh so NOT true--- I wouldn't have married a dummy you can be sure of that), and of financial security while being in school....  all I know is that my husband is only 26 years old (young, I know,  we are looking forward to a LONG life together- heehee!) and now is probably, truly, sincerely, and seriously the BEST time for him to go back to school.  our kids are young... they don't require much monetarily.... and we are in my mom's house while she's travel nursing in CA.  What better set up could one ask for really?  Let's all pray for Trey on this matter!  PLEASE!

okay, seriously.  I need to go to sleep now.  It may be another few days before I post again.  If you made it through this post--- bless you, it was LONG!  

24, anyone?  (did I mention my brother brought me all six seasons that are out on dvd? - aw... LOVE him)!

more bonus material:  I had a surprise visitor yesterday when I returned home...  a LIVE mouse in our toilet....  I don't how it got there.... I don't know where it came from.... all I know is where it went.  can you say FLUSHED!?!  no way was I picking up a mouse- dead or alive.  my only other option was to flush it and pray it didn't clog the toilet!!!!!!  You'll be happy to know that it didn't....

Misc. thoughts

1.  It rained today.  I mean flooded.  Trey asked me not to go anywhere with the kids today because it was so bad (and its unusual for Trey to ask me not to do anything).  It took about 2 seconds for me to say "okay, dear."

2.  The rain finally stopped and Jace started singing "SUNNY DAYS MAMA!  SUNNY DAYS!  OH HOW I LOVE SUNNY DAYS!"  Then preceded to ask me if she could go play outside... so we did.  Believe me when I say I had to hose the mud off before we could come inside.

3.  Last night trey informed me that he would like a son.  A few months ago Jace asked for a baby brother.  Okay, sure.  Better take that up with God people.

4.  I had a very REFRESHING 2 days at the beach without the kids.  I have never spent that much time away from the girls before.  I didn't do anything but sleep, read, and shop.  Thanks Michelle for coming with me!!!

5.  Trey got me a Kindle for Christmas.  I didn't get it until March... I didn't use it until after Easter.... and I LOVE it!  It is addictive.  But it will NEVER replace REAL books!

6.  Jace let me read a whole book to her yesterday.  This is improvement from 1-2 pages.  I DO read to her everyday but usually she grabs the book from me and says she'll read it herself.  She has hardly ever sat still long enough for me to read to her since she was born.  It's frustrating for me sometimes since I LOVE reading and when I was pregnant with her the only things I bought for the baby's room was books.

7.  I  am becoming more intrigued by homeschooling every day.  It's not something I ever planned on doing or even wanted to do.  But I have read some compelling arguments FOR homeschooling lately so we'll see.

8.  but I do still think the girls would benefit with some time away from me a few hours a week.  so they are going to Frazer in the fall.  Jace on tuesdays and thursdays from 8:30 - 11:30 and Rory on thursdays from 8:30 - 11:30.  I know they will survive those 3 hours in the morning away from me.  It's my guilt for needing them to go that I may not survive.