one tired girl

A grieving, but glad, heart...

Some of you may know this about me... I seem to be stuck on the shows of my youth: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, Friends, etc.  I have all the series, in their entirety, on dvd.  And I watch them OVER and OVER and OVER.  Always at night as I do other things simply because I do not care for what's on tv these days.  This is something about me that drives Trey crazy... :)  As do the constant piles of books everywhere because I read the same ones OVER and OVER and OVER, as well, thus can not bear to part with too many of my books.  Well, at this season in my life I am currently (re)watching Dawson's Creek.  No particular reason... just hadn't watched this one in a while.

Well, most of you probably did not watch this show so I just tell you a little bit about the episode I just watched.  Dawson (main character) made a decision that his father did not agree with (quit film school...).  And as Dawson is leaving from telling his parents, his father tells him that he is disappointed in his decision but to remember, always, how very much he loves him.  Dawson leaves.  The show ends showing his father driving home from getting some ice cream, and he has an accident.  His father dies in this accident.  

Most of you know that Trey's dad was killed in a tragic car accident Christmas Eve leaving our house.  And EVERY time I see something like this on tv, or read about one, or hear about one, I think of his father.  So tonight, after watching this, I am reflecting on Doc (trey's father).  The truth is, their relationship was far from perfect, but then again, whose relationships with their parents is?  But he was a GOOD man.  And he loved Trey (obviously).

But what I am thinking about tonight is the last words Dawson heard from his father (and yes, I realize this is a fictional show).  His dad told him how disappointed in him he was, although still loved him very much.

And I realized something tonight:  as difficult as Doc's death has been for Trey (and I can not even begin to imagine the devastation since I have not lost a parent) I realized that Trey truly received a great blessing from GOD that day.  The last words that Trey got to hear from his father, a man he grew up idolizing as only a child can to a parent though we inevitably realize how human our parents really are, was how proud Doc was of him.  We walked them out to their car.  He hugged us all (trey, myself, and with a kiss for Jace), and told Trey he was proud of the man he has become.  He was proud of the life Trey was making for himself, and for the family that Trey and I had become and started with Jace.  How much he loved him, and us, and especially Jace.  He repeated these words/thoughts/emotions/love to Trey.  Then he got into his car and drove away.  We never imagined this would be the last time we would see him alive, or hear his voice again.  That night was the worst night of our lives, and of our marriage.  Trey has suffered enormous guilt, loss, and depression since that night.  He changed irrevocably that Christmas.

There are certain times of the year that we struggle with now, emotionally.  And as hard as that first year was for my husband, and by extension, myself, I finally realize the blessing we received as well.  Those words that Trey got to hear from his father, those precious words, are something that Trey can take with him always, everywhere he goes in life.  They can never be taken away.  And while the tragedy of his father's death made shield any real disappointments that Trey may have felt in his relationship with his father (and to be honest they were probably very few and just as average as anyone else's with their own parents), he got to hear his father praise him one last time before he died.  There is not too many people out there who wouldn't wish for this sort of conversation with their parents before they pass on.  

And so I sit here right now,  glad in heart, that my husband truly knows how his father felt about him before he died.  That he was able to bask in the complete love of a father one last, precious time, before he lost him.  

a year ago

My babies a year ago...........

My babies today.....

First Dentist Appointment

It was a huge SUCCESS!  Jace went back gladly and even let them clean her teeth.  She had no cavities!  YAAAY!  Here's hoping that she doesn't inherit my horrible teeth!

Children of God

I have been thinking alot lately how hard it must be, as a parent, to let children go.  You spend so much of your time and energy basically in control of most aspects of their lives for the first 18 years or so, and even to some extent, throughout college.  This wonderful baby comes into your world, so new, so full of possibility, and you are so full of hope for their life.  YOU have big plans for that baby of yours, right?  And for the most part, you get to control their clothes, their schools, the choice of car and college are heavily influenced by you, etc.  Well, what happens when their lives take a turn you disapprove of?  What if they choose a college you oppose?  What if they marry someone you don't like?  What if they move away from you?  What if they go to a church you don't like?  What do you do?  

It's hard to picture that in 20+ years my children WON"T need me, because they need me so much now.  I mean, obviously, they'll love me, but truth be told, they won't need me.  Not in the way I will have become accustomed to being needed by them.  Even now, at 2 1/2, Jace is telling me, "NO Mommy.  Let me do it myself, please."  And for the most part she can, at 2 1/2.  What will I do when she's 25?  I look at her now and sometimes think she is still just a baby.  And I know others in our family think that too when they look at her.  But she's NOT a baby anymore.  She's becoming more and more independent EVERY SINGLE DAY.

The fourth commandment is to honor your mother and father.  This commandment encompasses all who have AUTHORITY over one's self, leading with Christ.  But our authority over our children lessens year by year, until they finally assume our authority over their own lives.  A young child's duties to one's parents is, above all else, to obey and respect them.  How does one's duties change as they mature?  Well, "obedience ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed them."  As grown children, it is our duty to show respect, gratitude, and to take care of our parents when the need arises.  But what also falls under this commandment is our duties as parents to our children.  Our first responsibility to our children is to educate them by good example, in all areas, especially faith.  We are to provide for our children in all areas, faith, love, home, and to meet their needs.  But as our children grow, our duties to them change just as much as theirs do to us.  As they mature, "our children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life... Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children in either" of these choices.  We should show our children the respect they deserve in their lives choices, as well as be there for them with whatever advice we have to offer that they choose to ask for.

It's a life of faith and chance that we live when we start our families.  I have hope in my Lord that he will show Trey and I what we need to know to raise our children.  I hope we are capable of letting our children lead their lives the way they choose.  Our job for them right now is to give them a home that meets their needs, physical, emotional, and spiritual.  No one knows what they need more than we do, and no one (except God) knows what is best for them like we do.  No one on this earth loves them more than we do, and no one on this earth loves us like they do.  What other joy in this life could we ask for really?  Our Lord gives us (trey and I) what we need to have a complete heart, and he provides for us always.  I must remember that all that matters, really, is my husband and our children.  That for us, all that matters is that we are children of God.

Sleep

Okay.  So Jace no longer naps that often :(  Well, Monday she took a nap for the first time in about a month, and she was so pleasant and happy that afternoon and evening.  I had forgotten what it was like for her to be that pleasant in the late afternoon!

We've adapted (though it did take a while) to no naps, now the girls(well mainly Jace) just go to bed earlier at night.  They are definitely getting the required amount of sleep, but I do long for the days of both girls napping in the afternoons...  it takes a lot of concentrated effort to keep Jace from waking Rory up too early most days.

Yesterday, of course, Jace did not nap and Rory's nap was cut short by accident.  Needless to say they were BOTH in bed at 5:45 last night!

WELL, guess what time they woke up today?  You'd think early, right? WRONG :)  Jace was up at 7:30 this morning and Rory did not wake up until 8:45!  So now I just thank God that at least they ARE getting the sleep they need...

This is just what works for us now.  As parents I guess we have to learn to adapt to the needs of our kids...  and my kids NEED to go to bed by 6:00 most nights!  

quote

"LOVE THE LORD, ALL YOU FAITHFUL."  Psalm 31:24

"Be joyful and happy;

for this is the true mark of the Spirit of God

who wishes that we should serve him

in peace and contentment."

St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, 17th century

SNOW!!!

The Catholic Church

Here's the definition taken from Wikipedia.... the largest online encyclopedia.

"The Roman Catholic Church, officially known as the Catholic Church, is the world's LARGEST (bold print mine), representing over half of all Christians and one-sixth of the world's population...  The Church defines its mission as spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ, administering the sacraments and exercising charity.  It operates social programs and institutions throughout the world, including schools, universities, hospitals, missions and shelters, as well as organizations such as Catholic Relief Services, Caritas Internationalis and Catholic Charities that help the poor, families, the elderly and the sick.

Through apostolic succession, the Church believes itself to be the continuation of the Christian community founded by Jesus in his consecration of Saint Peter, a view shared by many historians.  It has defined its doctrines through various ecumenical councils, following the example set by the first Apostles in the Council of Jerusalem.  On the basis of promises made by Jesus to his apostles, described in the Gospels, the Church believes that it is guided by the Holy Spirit and so protected from falling into doctrinal error.

Catholic beliefs are based on the BIBLE and on traditions handed down from the time of the Apostles, which are interpreted by a teaching authority.  Those beliefs are summarized in the Nicene Creed and formally detailed in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Formal Catholic worship, termed the liturgy, is regulated by Church authority.  The Eucharist, one of seven Church sacraments and the key part of every Catholic Mass ... is the center of Catholic worship.

With a history spanning almost two thousand years, the Church is one of the world's oldest institutions, and has played a prominent role in the history of Western civilization since at least the 4th century.  In the 11th century, a major split (the Great Schism) occurred between Eastern and Western Christianity, largely as a result of disagreements over papal primacy.  The Eastern Orthodox churches became a separate entity from the Catholic Church in the resulting schism.  Eastern Churches who remained in or later re-established communion with the Bishop of Rome, the Pope, form the Eastern Catholic churches.  In the 16th century, partly in response to the Protestant schism, the Church engaged in a substantial process of reform and renewal, known as the Counter - Reformation.

Although the Church maintains that is the "one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church" founded by Jesus Christ, where one can find the fullness of the means of salvation, it acknowledges that the Holy Spirit can make use of other Christian communities to bring people to salvation.  It believes that is called by the Holy Spirit to work for unity among all Christians, a movement known as ecumenism."

Just wanted to make clear the Christianity of the Catholic Church......

Rory's First Birthday Party

LOVE this pic of her!

My friend Lauren made her cake for her!  It was AWESOME!  I ate too much, and I don't even like cake!  It matched the invitations exactly too!

The singing and blowing of the candle freaked her out a little bit!

but she LOVED the cake!

Jace loved it too!

End of party, and Roar's too tired out to smile anymore!