Well, most of you probably did not watch this show so I just tell you a little bit about the episode I just watched. Dawson (main character) made a decision that his father did not agree with (quit film school...). And as Dawson is leaving from telling his parents, his father tells him that he is disappointed in his decision but to remember, always, how very much he loves him. Dawson leaves. The show ends showing his father driving home from getting some ice cream, and he has an accident. His father dies in this accident.
Most of you know that Trey's dad was killed in a tragic car accident Christmas Eve leaving our house. And EVERY time I see something like this on tv, or read about one, or hear about one, I think of his father. So tonight, after watching this, I am reflecting on Doc (trey's father). The truth is, their relationship was far from perfect, but then again, whose relationships with their parents is? But he was a GOOD man. And he loved Trey (obviously).
But what I am thinking about tonight is the last words Dawson heard from his father (and yes, I realize this is a fictional show). His dad told him how disappointed in him he was, although still loved him very much.
And I realized something tonight: as difficult as Doc's death has been for Trey (and I can not even begin to imagine the devastation since I have not lost a parent) I realized that Trey truly received a great blessing from GOD that day. The last words that Trey got to hear from his father, a man he grew up idolizing as only a child can to a parent though we inevitably realize how human our parents really are, was how proud Doc was of him. We walked them out to their car. He hugged us all (trey, myself, and with a kiss for Jace), and told Trey he was proud of the man he has become. He was proud of the life Trey was making for himself, and for the family that Trey and I had become and started with Jace. How much he loved him, and us, and especially Jace. He repeated these words/thoughts/emotions/love to Trey. Then he got into his car and drove away. We never imagined this would be the last time we would see him alive, or hear his voice again. That night was the worst night of our lives, and of our marriage. Trey has suffered enormous guilt, loss, and depression since that night. He changed irrevocably that Christmas.
There are certain times of the year that we struggle with now, emotionally. And as hard as that first year was for my husband, and by extension, myself, I finally realize the blessing we received as well. Those words that Trey got to hear from his father, those precious words, are something that Trey can take with him always, everywhere he goes in life. They can never be taken away. And while the tragedy of his father's death made shield any real disappointments that Trey may have felt in his relationship with his father (and to be honest they were probably very few and just as average as anyone else's with their own parents), he got to hear his father praise him one last time before he died. There is not too many people out there who wouldn't wish for this sort of conversation with their parents before they pass on.
And so I sit here right now, glad in heart, that my husband truly knows how his father felt about him before he died. That he was able to bask in the complete love of a father one last, precious time, before he lost him.
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